Notes on Pagan WeddingsFor general wedding information see the Weddings page. |
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TRADITIONAL HANDFASTING (from A Book of Pagan Rituals)
Time: Best performed at the time of the new moon. Setting: Bedeck the ritual area in flowers of many types, particularly the favorites of the couple, and roses. The altar should be arranged as usual, plus 2 white candles, incense of a flower scent, and a willow wand. Dress is up to the couple. Celtic tradition is that the bride where's some kind of veil or netting and an article of scarlet. The couple should bring wedding rings and small symbolic gifts for each other if desired. The PRIEST/ESS fits the rings over the willow wand, then lays them on the altar.. After lighting the candles and incense, the PRIEST and PRIESTESS face the gathering, backs toward the altar. PRIEST: PRIESTESS: ALL: PRIESTESS and PRIEST hold up the wand between them with the rings upon it. PRIESTESS: (Pause for five heartbeats) PRIESTESS: A kiss is appropriate at this time, and the tokens may be exchanged. The ceremony is then over and the cakes and wine on the altar should be served at the revel that follows. Two Handfasting Vows
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Handfasting
History
Handfasting at one time was the only way that couples could be engaged and/or get married because the church let the civil government of the period take care of these matters. In the British Isles, Handfasting was the old pagan ritual of marriage and it remained legal in Scotland all the way up to 1939, even after Lord Harwicke’s Act of 1753 declaring that marriages in England were legal only if performed by a clergyman. After Lord Harwicke’s Act, the Scottish border town, Gretna Green became a mecca for eloping couples from England who fled there to perform their own Handfastings. In those times, the couple themselves performed the Handfasting before witnesses. It was also used in Scotland for the engagement period of a year and a day before a wedding was proved. The very word
handfasting got it's origin in the wedding custom of tying the bride and
groom's hands (actually, wrists) together. In some versions, this is only
done for as long as the ceremony lasts, but in others, the cord is not
untied until the marriage is physically consummated. Handfasting is the
marriage rite used toady by many Heathens, neo-Pagans and Wiccans.
The term itself comes from the custom of shaking hands over a
contract. In most Pagan
traditions today it may mean a non-state registered wedding or one
in which a marriage license is filed.
For some it is a year and a day, renewable "so long as love
shall last" and for others a commitment to be together through many
lives. There are probably as
many rituals for this as there are people who have joined themselves
together. The hands are generally bound with a cord as part of the ritual. One custom is that
while facing each other, the couple placed their right hands together and
then their left hands together to form an infinity symbol while a cord is
tied around their hands in a knot. Another
custom is that the man and woman place their right hands only together
while a cord is used to tie a knot around their wrists. The ritual itself
might have been led by a respected non-church affiliate such as a
Chieftain, Leader, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, or Elder of the community
while the couple took turns reciting their vows of promise to be engaged
for a year and a day in front of witnesses.
On the last day of “the year and a day promise” they would then
make a promise for infinity repeating their promise to each again.
A cord is tied in a knot around their hand while the ritual takes
place. This is where the term
“tie the knot came from” when referring to getting engaged or married
today. In day of old,
records were not kept who got engaged, married, had kids, and died.
Today the Sacraments of the church has the responsibility of taking
care of these things. Before
the church took over these duties, these things were overseen by the whole
community and therefore were set in law by their witnessing what happened
between the couple making the promise. If a handfasting was
performed with the two left hands together without the tying of the knot,
as was the custom of rich and influential German nobility, it meant that
the woman was a mistress and would not be able to claim the name,
inheritance, property, etc. of the real wife and was only in the
protection of the man. But her
offspring would be taken care of as legal heirs second in line to the
man's legal and first wife. Having lots of children was once
the only form of "Social Security" in one's old age. The
previous combinations were all considered legal and binding in an
engagement or marriage except for the “left hand ritual.” The Handfasting
gesture seems to have been derived from one of the ancient Indo-European
images of male-female conjunction, the infinity sign, whose twin circles
represented the sun (female) and the moon (male) or in some of the
southern Mediterranean traditions it was sun (male) and moon (female). Two-handed Handfasting still constituted a fully legal marriage throughout Europe whether the blessing of the church was sought or not. Clergymen, of course, recommended that newlyweds attend church as soon as possible after the signing of the contract and the Handfasting. Marriage is now one the Seven Sacraments that had been ignored by the church for centuries. Only the very wealthy and affluent could afford church marriages. Handfastings were under the jurisdiction of common law rather than canon law. In the 16th century in Switzerland, if couples were seen in public drinking together they could be considered married. |
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| WICCAN
HANDFASTING RITUAL
Priestess speaks: Turns to the East: Turns to the South: Turns to the West: Turns to the North: Faces all: Humans have sadly turned away from Nature's harmony for most of our lives. There is war, loneliness, and desolation, and the soul of Nature mourns. So when there are those of us who love enough to make a commitment such as this one tonight between John and Mary the very stars rejoice at the rediscovery of love, joy, and bounty. Love has its seasons the same as does the Earth. In the spring of love is the discovery of each other, the pulse of the senses, the getting to know the mind and heart of the other; a blooming like the buds and flowers of springtime. In the summer of love comes the strength, the commitment to each other, the most active part of life, perhaps including the giving of life back to itself through children; the sharing of joys and sorrows, the learning to be humans who are each complete and whole but who can merge each with the other, as the trees grow green and tall in the heat of the sun. In the fall of love is the contentment of love that knows the other completely. Passion remains, and ease of companionship. The heart smoothes love into a steady light, glorious as the autumn leaves. In the winter of love, there is parting, and sorrow. But love remains, as do the stark and bare tree trunks in the snow, ready for the renewal of love in the spring as life and love begin anew. Now is the time of summer. Mary and John have gathered before their friends to make a statement of their commitment to each other, to their love. They face each other. Do you now commit to each other to love, honor, respect each other, to communicate with each other, to look to your own emotional health so that you can relate in a healthy way, and provide a healthy home for children if you choose to have them; to be a support and comfort for your partner in times of sickness and health, as long as love shall last? Together they say: We do. Then recite the vows you have written for each other. The couple moves first to the East, then around the directions. Couple and Priestess move to table where
sits 3 candles. Priestess asks them to each light a candle, they do. John describes himself. Mary, speak to us of who you are Mary describes herself. Together, light the third candle, but extinguish not the first two. For in marriage you do not lose yourself; you add something new, a relationship, the capacity to merge into one another without losing sight of your individual self. Together, speak to us of who you are as a couple. Mary and John alternate speaking of what they are as a couple. Let us bless the rings. Mary, place the ring on John's finger and repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. John, place the ring on Mary's hand and repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. I now pronounce you married. May you each and together be blessed with health, happiness, harmony, and love. So mote it be! (© 1994 by Mary A. Axford; may be reproduced as long as this copyright statement is intact.) |
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| Rose Ceremony
GROOM (As he hands his bride a long-stemmed
white rose):"_______, take this rose as a symbol of my love. It
began as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love has grown and blossomed
for you" |
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