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Ottawa Citizen Columns
By Rev. Brian Kopke

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Q: "We recently experienced the terrible horror of the OC Transpo killings. What is there to say to the family and what message is in it for everyone else."

The shootings were shocking, horrible, and our hearts go out to the families of those who were killed. Saying that it was an aberration does not help. Real people were lost to real families. If there is any solace or healing, it is found in the loving care which surrounds these families and their friends. It can also be found where people share reactions to the killings, at coffee shops, at work, and in our homes.

Were these shootings endemic of a culture bathed in violence, from Buffy and Beast Wars to the nightly news and the morning paper? Statistically, we are safe, though one would not know it by reflecting on the images which surround us. There is too much insecurity, fear, and anger.

By coincidence, I recently participated in several group sessions with people whose lives had been threatened. Reaction to the OCTranspo shootings added fear and urgency to the meetings.

The discussions held a lesson. When one person disagreed with the fear another expressed, we stopped. Knowing that we don t pay attention while waiting to voice disagreement, it became important to listen as people told their stories. Through listening, we could appreciate the unique experience of each speaker. Trust and a caring atmosphere resulted. Caring melted the fears. The sense of a cohesive supportive community grew.

The message in these tragic shootings is not in the senseless vengeful acts, but in how we respond. We draw close in grief, caring for each other. Our community mourns together. Remembrance of those slain is ensured through plaques, stories shared, and families beginning to build enduring memories. Memorials, however, do not replace real people and we are yet left with feelings of loss, tragedy, and insecurity.

Some tragedies are not preventable, but we wonder, could this have been prevented had someone listened longer, not just weeks ago, but years ago?

While our culture encourages fear and insecurity, drives us toward stressful limits, longer working hours, and no time for spiritual care, tragedy leads us to the antidote. A healthier culture blossoms when we overcome such tragedy by caring for, listening to, and working with each other.

Focussing on a healing and caring community is our task now. Strong ties will be part of the legacy.

We will never forget the tragedy . . . let us act in such a way as we will never forget the caring either.
Index of Questions asked by the Citizen and Readers . . .

 Q: I am 16 years old and I'm pregnant. Should I have an abortion?

 Q: We are a couple in love, but are from different religious faiths. Will this be an obstacle to our getting married in a religious ceremony?

 Q: I come from a background of athiests and I want to embrace a religious faith. What faith should I choose and what should be the basis of my decision?

 Q: My sister tells me that her husband is physically abusing her. Should I recommend that she see her minister?

 Q: How much political commentary during a religious service is considered ok?

 Q: Why are so many wars waged in the name of God?

 Q: My daughter has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. How can I continue to believe in God?

 Q: What does prayer mean to you?

 Q: An openly gay member of our congregation has volunteered to teach children in our church school. How should we proceed with this request.

 Q: My son came home from school with a Christmas gift wish list as long as his arm. I tried to explain that the spirit of Christmas is giving, but I fear he may be getting caught up in the crass materialism that detracts from the way our family traditionally celebrates Christ's birthday. Without breaking his heart, how can I keep him focused on the true meaning of Christmas?

 Q: My fiancé wants to have a religious outdoor wedding ceremony. But as a non-religious, non-baptized person, I feel uncomfortable with the thought of it. What kind of options do we have?

 Q: What are your views on gay marriage?

 Q: Robert Latimer's killing of his severely disabled daughter tracy and Dr. Jack Kevorkian's first-degree murder charge for giving a lethal dose of potassium chloride to a man with Lou Gehrig's disease leave me feeling that there's something right about what both men have done, yet uneasy because this could open the floodgates to abuse. What do religious traditions have to say on this?

 Q: I want to go back to religion after many years of not attending. I am attracted to a conservative religion because of the sense of spirituality I get at their services. I cannot practice this orthodox religion because I am gay and have other theological differences. Is it proper to attend their services when I do not embrace all of their theological law?

 Q: Stanley Faulder's death-sentence in Texas for the 1975 murder of a 75-year-old woman has revived my own struggles with the death penalty. I understand how some people, particularly family members of murder victims, might feel justice can only be served by taking an "eye-for-an-eye" approach to those that kill in cold blood. But what happens if the wrong person is convicted and an innocent person is executed? How has your religious tradition approached this question?

 Q: What Difference does it make if I choose not to believe in God or follow any religion? Why is going to church so important?

 Q: I constantly remind my grandchildren of the importance of tolerance of people and their beliefs, causes and opinions. However, I recently found myself at a bit of a loss when asked to explain the violence during the Kurdish demonstration outside the Turkish embassy last month, during which some police officers were injured. My grandchildren don't understand why something that doesn't involve Canada should place our notions of peace under attack.

 Q: Next week marks Holy week and Passover, when Jews and Christians will ponder notions of salvation and redemption. Given the approaching new millenium, some may have apocalyptic thoughts. A few might plan for the end of the world, the Second Coming, or the arrival of the Messiah. But should next week hold any added significance beyond the events themselves?

 Q: Tomorrow, I like Christians around the world, will mark Easter. Did Jesus really rise from the dead and can His resurrection be proven historically?

 Q: Church groups often champion the plight of poor people and denounce vast accumulations of wealth, Yet many have considerable bank accounts. Isn't this failing to practise what they preach?

 Q: Is there a Hell? If so, can you explain where it is?

 Q: Is the Bible really the word of God?

 Q: I have been pondering the contrition offered by U.S. President Bill Clinton for misleading Americans about his relationship with Monica Lewinski and by Prime Minister Jean Crétien for failing to attend King Hussein's funeral. In some quarters, the apologies have fallen on deaf ears and have generate highly partisan aattacks on both men. While weset higher standards for those who lead us, are we becoming too self-righteous and overlooking the fact that they are only human?

 Q: In the past few years, several church groups have apologized for historical misdeeds. Is saying "sorry" enough?

 Q: As a parent of four, I am outraged by the recent B.C. Supreme Court ruling that struck down a section of the Criminal Code that makes it illegal to possess child pornography. have freedom of expression and the right of privacy guaranteed under the Charter of rights and Freedoms taken precedence over basic morals?

 Q: My father is terminally ill and in constant pain.  He is talking about "ending it all," either in a manner practised by Dr. Jack Kevorkian or by himself.  Is this morally right?

 Q: I have never understood salvation. What does it mean to you?

 Q: We recently experienced the terrible horror of the OC Transpo killings.What is there to say to the family and what message is there in it for everyone else?

 Q: The tragedy that has befallen Kosovo, particularly its cruel effect on ethnic Albanians, gives me proof that evil exists in the world and Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic is doing the devil s work. To stop the carnage and Milosevic, could one morally justify increasing NATO s military operation, which could result in a global war and claim more lives?

 Q: Why should we keep the reference to God in the Constitution?

 Q: American Baptist minister Rev. Fred Phelps has threatened to bring his anti-gay message to Ottawa this weekend. How far should we go to protect free speech, particularly when it carries a religious context?

 Q: Does secularism qualify as a belief system and how would your religion look upon secualrism?

 Q:  Do Animals Have Souls?

 Q:  Recently a Toronto clergyman married two homosexual couples. Should Canada legalize same sex marriage?

 Q: Who is my Neighbour?

 

   


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Updated: January 15, 2004