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Q: My daughter has just been diagnosed as
having terminal cancer. How can I continue to believe in God?
I am sorry. This cancer is like a plough running a deep furrow
through your beliefs. It leaves you powerless to protect your child.
Hopelessness and anger threaten your faith.
I wish I had the power to spare your beautiful daughter. I do not.
You say your faith in God is wavering. Do not fill the hurt with blame
and bitterness. Theology is unconsoling, but I believe no God (Goddess)
is at fault. Tragedy is built into life. It just happens. God is not
omnipotent, not responsible for the capriciousness of diseases,
accidents, or miracles. God can not act in the world in that way. It is
a mistake to blame God.
Neither I, nor you, nor God can make the cancer go away. But we
three, and others, can be at your daughter's side through this. Who
knows what healing that may bring.
Any God I know is found in the courage to overcome the unremitting
paralysis of hopelessness. We can draw courage from deep trusted
spiritual wells within. Feeling bereft and angry, we answer with
compassion and healing energies. God acts within us, supporting the
courage and personal healing needed to be at your daughter's side.
Honour her. Mine the incredible wealth of her spirit. Continue to build
good memories. Treasure the joys and laughter, tenderness and
appreciation, even the tears - together. Be close. Engage with life
until the last breath. Every day you and she have together is a
blessing.
And after she is gone, take her wonderful and courageous spirit into
your heart and use it for the living of your days. The tragic feelings
will diminish a bit over time; scars will remain, but you will find
health of spirit equal to the journey which lies before you.
But that is for tomorrow, today we must know that our upset takes us
away from her. Our task is to be with her. Facing fears, loneliness, and
loss will fill us with tears - her tears, your tears, and my tears. In
these tears we will discover courage. She must know that we will never
abandon her, that she will live forever in our hearts, and if she
believes, in the hand of God after death.
Milk these days for all they are worth, with tenderness and gusto.
Grow close in love and in caring and you will find that after she has
died, you will so cherish the gifts of these times that you will wonder
how you ever let the anger, and the loneliness, and the doubt get in the
way.
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Index of Questions asked
by the Citizen and Readers . . .
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Q:
I am 16 years old and I'm pregnant. Should I have an
abortion?
Q:
We are a couple in love, but are from different religious
faiths. Will this be an obstacle to our getting married in a
religious ceremony?
Q: I
come from a background of athiests and I want to embrace a
religious faith. What faith should I choose and what should be
the basis of my decision?
Q: My
sister tells me that her husband is physically abusing her.
Should I recommend that she see her minister?
Q: How
much political commentary during a religious service is
considered ok?
Q:
Why are so many wars waged in the name of God?
Q: My
daughter has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. How can I
continue to believe in God?
Q: What
does prayer mean to you?
Q: An
openly gay member of our congregation has volunteered to teach
children in our church school. How should we proceed with this
request.
Q: My
son came home from school with a Christmas gift wish list as
long as his arm. I tried to explain that the spirit of Christmas
is giving, but I fear he may be getting caught up in the crass
materialism that detracts from the way our family traditionally
celebrates Christ's birthday. Without breaking his heart, how
can I keep him focused on the true meaning of Christmas?
Q: My
fiancé wants to have a religious outdoor wedding ceremony. But
as a non-religious, non-baptized person, I feel uncomfortable
with the thought of it. What kind of options do we have?
Q: What
are your views on gay marriage?
Q: Robert
Latimer's killing of his severely disabled daughter tracy and
Dr. Jack Kevorkian's first-degree murder charge for giving a
lethal dose of potassium chloride to a man with Lou Gehrig's
disease leave me feeling that there's something right about what
both men have done, yet uneasy because this could open the
floodgates to abuse. What do religious traditions have to say on
this?
Q: I
want to go back to religion after many years of not attending. I
am attracted to a conservative religion because of the sense of
spirituality I get at their services. I cannot practice this
orthodox religion because I am gay and have other theological
differences. Is it proper to attend their services when I do not
embrace all of their theological law?
Q: Stanley
Faulder's death-sentence in Texas for the 1975 murder of a
75-year-old woman has revived my own struggles with the death
penalty. I understand how some people, particularly family
members of murder victims, might feel justice can only be served
by taking an "eye-for-an-eye" approach to those that
kill in cold blood. But what happens if the wrong person is
convicted and an innocent person is executed? How has your
religious tradition approached this question?
Q: What
Difference does it make if I choose not to believe in God or
follow any religion? Why is going to church so important?
Q: I
constantly remind my grandchildren of the importance of
tolerance of people and their beliefs, causes and opinions.
However, I recently found myself at a bit of a loss when asked
to explain the violence during the Kurdish demonstration outside
the Turkish embassy last month, during which some police
officers were injured. My grandchildren don't understand why
something that doesn't involve Canada should place our notions
of peace under attack.
Q: Next
week marks Holy week and Passover, when Jews and Christians will
ponder notions of salvation and redemption. Given the
approaching new millenium, some may have apocalyptic thoughts. A
few might plan for the end of the world, the Second Coming, or
the arrival of the Messiah. But should next week hold any added
significance beyond the events themselves?
Q: Tomorrow,
I like Christians around the world, will mark Easter. Did Jesus
really rise from the dead and can His resurrection be proven
historically?
Q: Church
groups often champion the plight of poor people and denounce
vast accumulations of wealth, Yet many have considerable bank
accounts. Isn't this failing to practise what they preach?
Q: Is
there a Hell? If so, can you explain where it is?
Q: Is
the Bible really the word of God?
Q: I
have been pondering the contrition offered by U.S. President
Bill Clinton for misleading Americans about his relationship
with Monica Lewinski and by Prime Minister Jean Crétien for
failing to attend King Hussein's funeral. In some quarters, the
apologies have fallen on deaf ears and have generate highly
partisan aattacks on both men. While weset higher standards for
those who lead us, are we becoming too self-righteous and
overlooking the fact that they are only human?
Q: In
the past few years, several church groups have apologized for
historical misdeeds. Is saying "sorry" enough?
Q: As a
parent of four, I am outraged by the recent B.C. Supreme Court
ruling that struck down a section of the Criminal Code that
makes it illegal to possess child pornography. have freedom of
expression and the right of privacy guaranteed under the Charter
of rights and Freedoms taken precedence over basic morals?
Q:
My father is terminally ill and in constant pain. He
is talking about "ending it all," either in a manner
practised by Dr. Jack Kevorkian or by himself. Is this
morally right?
Q:
I have never understood salvation. What does it mean to you?
Q:
We recently experienced the terrible horror of the OC
Transpo killings.What is there to say to the family and what
message is there in it for everyone else?
Q:
The tragedy that has befallen Kosovo,
particularly its cruel effect on ethnic Albanians, gives me
proof that evil exists in the world and Yugoslav President
Slobodan Milosevic is doing the devil s work. To stop the
carnage and Milosevic, could one morally justify increasing NATO
s military operation, which could result in a global war and
claim more lives?
Q:
Why should we keep the reference to God in the Constitution?
Q:
American Baptist minister Rev. Fred Phelps has
threatened to bring his anti-gay message to Ottawa this weekend.
How far should we go to protect free speech, particularly when
it carries a religious context?
Q:
Does secularism qualify as a belief system and how would
your religion look upon secualrism?
Q:
Do Animals Have Souls?
Q:
Recently a Toronto clergyman married two homosexual
couples. Should Canada legalize same sex marriage?
Q: Who
is my Neighbour?
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