The columns appeared
between September 1998 and January 2000
Q: "I am 16 years old and I'm pregnant.
Should I have an abortion?"
Sixteen! My heart breaks for what you must be going through. I wish
it had not happened, but I'm not upset at you. Your parents, teachers,
relatives and I still love and care about you.
How are your doing? Have you had a reliable pregnancy test and seen a
doctor? If you have, how far along in the pregnancy are you? Have you
talked to anyone about this? I suggest you seek professional counselling
from someone who regularly deals with this situation.
Planned parenthood offers free "options counselling." The
counsellor presents four scenarios: Keep the baby; place the baby in
foster care until you're in a position to care for the child; give up
the baby for adoption; or obtain a therapeutic abortion. Post-abortion
counselling is also available.
If you have an abortion, you must be prepared to integrate the event
to allow for the resolution of the many feelings you will experience.
What happens to your spirit is important. Courage must be the source of
your energy rather than coming from fear or longing.
Often parents are supportive of a daughter who obtains an abortion,
but there is no guarantee that they will be understanding. They may also
require counselling.
They will also need to consent to the use of a general anaesthetic if
you have an abortion at a hospital, but their consent is not needed if
the procedure is performed at a clinic with local anaesthetic. The
difference is related to health risks.
I believe the fetus is human life, but it is also all right to end
that life early in the pregnancy. Some religions call abortion a sin.
Though it is better to use some other method of birth control, abortion
is a viable option.
No doubt this is a difficult time for you. But as we forge a new
foundation for understanding self, relationships, sex, and
responsibility, we will build strengths for facing life in the future.
Index of Questions asked
by the Citizen and Readers . . .
Q: I am 16 years old and I'm pregnant. Should I have an
abortion?
Q: We are a couple in love, but are from different religious
faiths. Will this be an obstacle to our getting married in a
religious ceremony?
Q: I come from a background of athiests and I want to
embrace a religious faith. What faith should I choose and what
should be the basis of my decision?
Q: My sister tells me that her husband is physically abusing
her. Should I recommend that she see her minister?
Q: How much political commentary during a religious service
is considered ok?
Q: An openly gay member of our congregation has volunteered
to teach children in our church school. How should we proceed
with this request.
Q: My son came home from school with a Christmas gift wish
list as long as his arm. I tried to explain that the spirit of
Christmas is giving, but I fear he may be getting caught up in
the crass materialism that detracts from the way our family
traditionally celebrates Christ's birthday. Without breaking his
heart, how can I keep him focused on the true meaning of
Christmas?
Q: My fiancé wants to have a religious outdoor wedding
ceremony. But as a non-religious, non-baptized person, I feel
uncomfortable with the thought of it. What kind of options do we
have?
Q: Robert Latimer's killing of his severely disabled
daughter tracy and Dr. Jack Kevorkian's first-degree murder
charge for giving a lethal dose of potassium chloride to a man
with Lou Gehrig's disease leave me feeling that there's
something right about what both men have done, yet uneasy
because this could open the floodgates to abuse. What do
religious traditions have to say on this?
Q: I want to go back to religion after many years of not
attending. I am attracted to a conservative religion because of
the sense of spirituality I get at their services. I cannot
practice this orthodox religion because I am gay and have other
theological differences. Is it proper to attend their services
when I do not embrace all of their theological law?
Q: Stanley Faulder's death-sentence in Texas for the 1975
murder of a 75-year-old woman has revived my own struggles with
the death penalty. I understand how some people, particularly
family members of murder victims, might feel justice can only be
served by taking an "eye-for-an-eye" approach to those
that kill in cold blood. But what happens if the wrong person is
convicted and an innocent person is executed? How has your
religious tradition approached this question?
Q: What Difference does it make if I choose not to believe
in God or follow any religion? Why is going to church so
important?
Q: I constantly remind my grandchildren of the importance of
tolerance of people and their beliefs, causes and opinions.
However, I recently found myself at a bit of a loss when asked
to explain the violence during the Kurdish demonstration outside
the Turkish embassy last month, during which some police
officers were injured. My grandchildren don't understand why
something that doesn't involve Canada should place our notions
of peace under attack.
Q: Next week marks Holy week and Passover, when Jews and
Christians will ponder notions of salvation and redemption.
Given the approaching new millenium, some may have apocalyptic
thoughts. A few might plan for the end of the world, the Second
Coming, or the arrival of the Messiah. But should next week hold
any added significance beyond the events themselves?
Q: Tomorrow, I like Christians around the world, will mark
Easter. Did Jesus really rise from the dead and can His
resurrection be proven historically?
Q: Church groups often champion the plight of poor people
and denounce vast accumulations of wealth, Yet many have
considerable bank accounts. Isn't this failing to practise what
they preach?
Q: Is there a Hell? If so, can you explain where it is?
Q: I havve been pondering the contrition offered by U.S.
President Bill Clinton for misleading Americans about his
relationship with Monica Lewinski and by Prime Minister Jean Crétien
for failing to attend King Hussein's funeral. In some quarters,
the apologies have fallen on deaf ears and have generate highly
partisan aattacks on both men. While weset higher standards for
those who lead us, are we becoming too self-righteous and
overlooking the fact that they are only human?
Q: In the past few years, several church groups have
apologized for historical misdeeds. Is saying "sorry"
enough?
Q: As a parent of four, I am outraged by the recent B.C.
Supreme Court ruling that struck down a section of the Criminal
Code that makes it illegal to possess child pornography. have
freedom of expression and the right of privacy guaranteed under
the Charter of rights and Freedoms taken presecedence over basic
morals?
Q: My father is terminally ill and in constant pain.
He is talking about "ending it all," either in a
manner practised by Dr. Jack Kevorkian or by himself. Is
this morally right?
Q: I have never understood salvation. What does it mean to
you?
Q: We recently experienced the terrible horror of the OC
Transpo killings.What is there to say to the family and what
message is there in it for everyone else?
Q: The tragedy that has befallen Kosovo,
particularly its cruel effect on ethnic Albanians, gives me
proof that evil exists in the world and Yugoslav President
Slobodan Milosevic is doing the devil s work. To stop the
carnage and Milosevic, could one morally justify increasing NATO
s military operation, which could result in a global war and
claim more lives?
Q: Why should we keep the reference to God in the
Constitution?
Q: American Baptist minister Rev. Fred Phelps has
threatened to bring his anti-gay message to Ottawa this weekend.
How far should we go to protect free speech, particularly when
it carries a religious context?
Q: Does secularism qualify as a belief system and how would
your religion look upon secualrism?
